Monday, February 8, 2010

Housework crimes

I'm fairly domestic, I admit that. I can knit, sew, crochet, take up hems, and sew clothes and silly fabric robots. I am a good cook and my baking's not bad and I can do all the Granny stuff like making jam and sauce and preserving fruit.
But...I am a crap housewife. I often let the house get disgracefully messy (When I had a desk job, my colleague used to sigh as she looked at my chaotic desk, and say "Does the inside of your brain look like that?"). Yeah? So what?
Simon, who is a very tidy person, does his best to live peaceably with such a messy person. I promised him that I would contain my fabric collection in two suitcases only. I never promised the suitcases would be closed.

The bookcase in the dining room was to prevent every flat surface from filling up with paint and making-things and DVDs and glasses cases and pencils and keys. It was a good idea, but it's not working.

And don't even get me started about the wars we have over jars. I save them, hiding them in out-of-the-way places until I need them for jam or whatever. Simon finds them and sneakily recycles them because he thinks I won't use them. But this weekend, I happened across 5 dozen jars at a garage sale for only $5!

"Hooray" I whooped, delightedly.

The phrase Simon came out with rhymed with "Duck's cake!" and it had a swear word in it. Oddly enough, he accidentally hit himself with the electric fly swat soon afterwards, which I do believe might be the jar gods telling him what they think of his attitude.

He'll be SO happy when I've filled them with apricots and greengages and apple and jam. I just know it.

And since I haven't been making any craft items over the last week, you might be interested to know what we do with too many zucchinis. I grate them up and put them in pizza dough. I use 2 c plain white flour, 1/2 c rolled oats, 2 t sugar, 1 t yeast, 1 t salt, 1 T olive oil, a grated zucchini and enough water to make the dough the right soft-but-springy consistency (about 2/3 c). I leave it to rise, roll it out, put pizza toppings on top, cook it, and we eat it all up, even the small zucchini hater that lives in this house.

What do you do with too many zucchinis?

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18 comments:

  1. Ohh, Miss Smith you make me laugh. I read the bit about the ducks to my dearest and he giggled too and then pointed out that he got me "all those agee jars" (2 doz. pints with bands and in their box, bless). I've given up on saving jam jars now that I know the Sallies have them with lids for 10c each. Let them hold onto them all year until I'm ready I say.

    As for the zuchini, chocolate cake works for me.

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  2. We make cake.... And zucchini fritters-whisk up egg(s), add grated zucchini, salt and pepper, wholemeal flour to bind. Jars look great-I had a similar windfall recently! And thanks for the domestic honesty. Most pictures I take have clutter pushed back to the edges of the frame!

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  3. I know I am your sister because my desk and my housework are just the same as yours - we could be identical twins in that respect. Sadly in Dunedin my zuchini plant has only offered up one zuchini this summer - not been hot enough. SO I had an opposite problem. How do I make the most of this one delicious zuchini !!!!

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  4. Yussssssss. A fellow crap house wench!! Excellent.

    And glad the Jar Gods had their way with Simon. How dare he!? ;)

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  5. Well, Miss Smith - your crimes against housework are misdemeanors, mine are felonies. the next generation looks safe though, he is already getting dish washer stacking training.

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  6. I'm in awe of you Miss Smith for coming clean about something that bothers so many. Sadly for me, I'm a member of the neat freak brigade which drives my poor family a little crazy.
    btw got to love all those jars!

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  7. I'm with MaryNanna - mine are felonies too! ;)

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  8. Cracking up at this one! And I feel right at home at your place.

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  9. Men, what do they know...Great Zucchini and chocolate chip recipe at http://www.craftpad.com/2009/09/chocolate-chip-zucchini-muffins.html.
    A lot of sugar i know, but makes a batch of muffins and a loaf to freeze, and toddler eats it.

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  10. haha i am with you on the house thing. there are sooo many more Important things to do, even domestic things. like the zucchini pizza dough idea!

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  11. Ratatat-touille uses a few zuchinni up at a time and it's nice for a snack the next day. The faster the plants churn them out, the more averse the family becomes and won't even eat choc/zuchinni muffins anymore. If you roast them with the peppers, onions/garlic, tomato cubes or whole little ones and whathaveyou in a really hot oven and then stir in the fresh basil and some tomatoe juice to loosen it up a bit it has a lot more flavour and interest. Had to laugh at the exploding fabric suitcase. The concept is good but the execution doesn't quite meet the need.

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  12. Thanks for my morning belly laugh !
    When I couldn't close the lids on my 2 suitcases full of fabric , well, I just added 5 more to the collection.

    and boo-hiss for housework!

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  13. Love the mess. And the showing of the mess. Perfect. Do you make zucchini slice? With cherry tomatoes on top? That is where ours go.

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  14. As a former man of the mountains I would like to share my snow theory of domestic/work messiness. Snow accumulates most on flat surfaces - just like mess. Snow slides off steep surfaces - just like mess. And snow gets swept off the paths of frequent avalanches - just like mess doesn't accumulate in well-trodden spaces. Snowy mountains are beautiful - just like mess :-)

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  15. Gosh, I just love this post on so many many levels. I like the real-world photos of your house, sometimes blogs look so pristine that I like to see a table cluttered up with stuff! The marital dynamic between the sneaky recycler and the perennial collector is just so well-said. I am going to take some inspiration from your post awhile back and try to get rid of ten things in each room (or whatever that model was!).

    Thanks for starting my day with a giggle.
    XO
    Iris

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  16. Funny about the jars. My DH said the exact same thing when I came home with a box of moccona jars given to me by a colleague recently. I have since used them to make jars of preserved lemons. As for too many zucchinis, I have a recipe with the imaginative title Zucchini Slice. It is essentially eggs, flour and other stuff with a lot of grated zucchini. I guess it's a cross between an omelette and a frittata but it tastes great and packs well for lunch the next day. Let me know if you want the recipe.

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  17. Poor Simon. I really do feel for him. My husband speaks of Duck's cake a great deal.

    Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to discuss our extra zuchinis.

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  18. Well Miss Smith, I used to live with you and I do believe your house-keeping may have improved in the last 16-odd years!

    I read on a knitting site about ways of hiding the stash, and one person confessed she had emptied out the freezer altogther and was hiding her craft materials in there. Her partner never opened it, so there were no duck's cake episodes.

    Like Marg, excess zucchini is not a problem we have in Dunedin. If I don't grab them off the plant at a measly 6-7cm in length, they just rot away. Grrrrr. Summer appears to have bypassed us, apart from one surprisingly hot week.

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